As educators spending a significant amount of time with students you may notice symptoms of a student struggling with their mental health. Talking with caregivers about this may be difficult, especially if they have not noticed any of the same behaviors. Here are some ways to talk to caregivers if you think their child may need help.

Start a relationship before talking to caregivers

If the first time you talk to a caregiver is when you meet to discuss a mental health concern, you may be met with greater resistance. Instead, if you start noticing struggles it may be helpful to call or meet parents to build a relationship before that conversation.

Get help from those around you

As soon as you notice a student may be struggling with their mental health use the school counselor or school mental health professional for help if you have access to one. In partnership, you can determine the best strategy for sharing your concerns, identify resources, and next steps.

Do not assume the worse

Discussing a concern with a caregiver does not always have to be a bad thing. Many caregivers will be grateful for the candid fact-based information you can share, and many may feel relieved or feel like their own concerns are validated.

Tips for having a difficult conversation with caregivers

Express empathy

Ask permission to share what you have observed about their child in the classroom that concerns you, ask what they have observed at home, and what strategies they might have tried in the past to address concerns. Use open-ended questions and active listening to help show what you understand. Express understanding to their worries.

Talk about the students future

Talk with caregivers about what they would like to see in the students future. With caregivers help them compare the change vs not having intervention. Remind parents that you are on the same team to better a student’s future and by getting them help early you are setting students up for future success.

Avoid engaging in arguments

Remember you and caregivers are working to make students lives more successful, you are not seeking to prove a point or to be right.

Communicate respect

Act as a compassionate and knowledgeable source for caregivers, while respecting the caregiver’s freedom of choice and self-direction.

Acknowledge the positive

Your optimism and sharing positives about the student may reduce any discomfort the caregiver feels during a hard conversation. Reminding caregivers of all the great things their child does may help them remember you are on the same team and show how much you care for their child.

Embrace resistance

It’s common for caregivers to resist acknowledging a mental health problem, or to feel that they are to “blame” for their child’s struggles. Reassuring them with facts can be helpful and reminding them mental health struggles are not their fault may help them be more open.

Respect cultural differences

Remember different cultures have different norms regarding meetings, mental health, and treatment for children. You can share your concerns, but acknowledge that their culture may have a different way they address mental health concerns.

Remember you are doing what is best for your student

Even if things do not work out how you wanted, you are advocating for your student. Acknowledging a student’s struggle and talking to caregivers is appropriate and difficult, but by address it with caregivers you are doing what you can to support your student.